Week 1: Regis Vs Valor
Game of Inches
Pre Game: Bottom of the Iceberg
I vividly recall spending my summer days in the dreadful Texas heat while my coach sits back in a lawn chair under the only shaded patch of grass for the next 5 miles. Blowing his whistle to his own tune as my teammates and I run shuttles from one end zone to another. In my own world it felt like the 2008 Summer Olympics in the pits of hell, yet as an athlete there's nothing that compares to collective suffering. Yes I'm exhausted and on the brink of dying from heat exhaustion while my legs shake like a stripper who's trying to pay off her student loans - but I won't stop until the job is finished. At this point I'm holding up my end of the bargain so that my brothers can trust me when the going gets tough. If this was some sort of individual punishment I would have tapped out after the first 10 maybe 15 minutes, but when you go through the trenches with your brothers and come out intact and on top - nothing can break that bond that was forged by pressure, hard work, and that sticky Texas heat. My coach would always end practice with the same monologue, “Come game day all the roaring fans both in the stands and at home only see the tip of the iceberg, just the tip. So when they look at you and your game they only see the glory and the success. Don’t let that get to your head because there are people who will doubt your abilities, your integrity, your dedication, and your love for the game. Right now we’re at the bottom of the iceberg where all the work is at. When those Friday Night lights come on we’re on top of the iceberg. Come Saturday we’re back at the bottom, together, that’s all we got is each other.”
First Half: Come to Play
Like most of the athletes in this gallery I too once dreamt of playing professionally. How could you not when you're a walking highlight tape? Coaches drawing up plays specifically for you, your teammates only have the highest praise for you, when you walk on campus the people shower you with love, and come game day you're as calm and collective as a wild Japanese macaque bathing in a hot spring. I remember it like it was yesterday, the soothing stadium lights on my skin, the turf is warm and bouncy with every step, and the trainer hooked me up with a deep pre game stretch and solid ankle wrap. Before taking the field the team is in the locker room counting down each moment until kick off. While in the locker room you notice different factions like a school lunch table; You have the serious players who are locked in and keep to themselves while listening to music; The chill bill cats who are casually walking from one faction to another or playing iPhone games; We all have that one teammate who’s flashy and treats each game like New York Fashion week with all the swag and new accessories; And lastly, we have the cypher group who are constantly free-styling one awful bar after another with the collective and obnoxious "YUUUH!!" from the surrounding players. Spirits are high but when the coach barks at the team to get ready to swarm the field everything stops at a moment's notice and the team comes together as one, one sound, one heartbeat, one purpose. Banded in brotherhood they swarm the field with a common goal that the coach engraved in their skull; Play for 60 straight minutes, do your job, and beat the man in front of you. The recipe to a Win isn’t hard.
Half Time: Reflection
I ended up playing collegiate football but didn't amount to much after my sophomore year. Constantly injured with a broken hand, heart issues, multiple concussions, and the lack of desire to make football my end all be all held me back from pursuing the sport in full. Each day passed me by while my mental health took one body shot after another. It was a tough pill to swallow when I later realized that I wasn't cut out to pursue sports full time. That was challenging because that's all I knew as a kid. I didn't have any hobbies or interest in life that I could fling to and consume my life with. When you're in college with athletes who breathe this sport, or future engineers and doctors who are certain they are where they need to be, it's hard to understand where you belong in this world. I was fearful of disappointing my father who swore my entire life that I was the next Randy Moss, or my stepfather who played professionally, and even my two older brothers who played collegiately. On top of it all my education was paid in full because I was an athlete. Over the span of my junior season I lost myself and began to drift from my teammates and friends who I've been going to war with since freshman year fall camp. At this point in my life I believed I was losing the game. No matter what my teammates barked in the locker room at half time, or one on one conversations I had with plates and coaches could sway my mind to continue playing. I had to take a step back and hit the drawing board before I began to spiral into the abyss. After months of trying to figure out my next move I decided to write down on a piece of paper what made me happy. That list consisted of, telling stories, evoking emotion, and food. When I took a step back to look at my list my head turned to the side much like a confused player after the coach just drew up a new game plan. I was filled with doubt but also enough curiosity to give this a chance. It was then that I decided to pursue the film industry in full.
Second Half: Second Chance
When I left the game in 2017 I bought my first camera and quickly realized how awful I was after taking my first 100 pictures, mind you I was shooting on automatic thinking I was hot until I switched to manual settings . In a sense football taught me a lot about life after I hung up the helmet and pursued the film industry. For starters football taught me that no matter what you pursue you have to practice daily. As a new artist with little to no perspective I would carry my camera around and take random photos of friends, family events/gatherings, and create skits to get the creativity flowing. Second, you have to "watch film" but ultimately find resources to enhance your knowledge. For the first two years I would spend at least three days out of the week at a local Barnes and Noble for hours of the day so I could read photography books I couldn't afford, watch YouTube videos on free wifi, and explore different magazine publications while sipping on a Matcha latte. Third, football taught me that life is a game of inches. There would be days where I have little to no motion outside of my room, but when I caught wind of a concert, event, or someone who needed a last minute photographer - I pounced on the opportunity much like a kitten chasing after its favorite toy. Over time the little victories and curiosity of my abilities built to be some of my major accomplishments, such as working full time as a cinematographer for an independent production company that opened up my world to the film industry, different cultures, and ultimately my purpose as an artist. Lastly, football taught me to cherish the individuals who I can strap up and go to war with. It's one thing to suffer in life alone, but when you have a village that you can rely on there's not a single storm you can't face. It won't always be pretty, you won't always have the answer, you might not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you will always have unconditional support and love from the people you choose to battle life with.
Overtime: Bottom of the Iceberg
Much like the game, life has a way of changing momentum at a moment's notice. One minute you’re up 7 with two minutes left in the game and then all of a sudden your QB throws an interception. The away team responds with a quick touchdown to tie up the game and then forces a three and out. The stadium grows quiet and the morale of the team is shot. What now? Since March the film industry has been on strike which has caused a halt in all major productions. Thousands of men and women are left standing in their homes asking themselves that very question,”Now What?” I too fell victim to the strike and have asked that same question. When momentum shifts our only job is to respond appropriately and with an open mind. My village inspired me to purchase a digital camera and just create as much as possible which is what led me to photographing this football game. Never did I think I'd be back on a football field, but it was a breath of fresh air as I watched the young men of Regis put it all on the line for each other. I was foreign to photographing a football game which made me nervous since I'm surrounded by 20 other photographers with telephoto lenses and monopods. The first 100 frames were decent, but I felt disconnected. Looking at the scoreboard there was still 8 minutes left in the first quarter. It wasn’t until the first touchdown for Regis was when I understood how I was going to photograph this game. The energy from the roaring fans, the excitement from the team, and the shift of momentum gave me the idea of photographing the game as a street photographer. This is all new with its own set of challenges but the climb to the peak is worth pursuing. I can get down with this new shift in my career.
